Vegas Popular

There's no doubt that voting is just like gambling and politics is a sports so it's of little surprise that popular online sports books are taking bets on the next President of the United States.

You can't predict an absolute future so when you vote -- just like in poker -- you're taking in all the information you can and deciding to shove all your chips in on a certain hand slash candidate. The passive equivalent is putting all of your chips on red or black and hoping the roulette spin pays off.

Most of the sports books I looked at like Bodog have Barrack Obama favored over John McCain. The moneyline is -200 for Obama and +140 McCain. So if you subscribe to "change you can believe in," you'll need to wager $200 to win $100. If you're voting McCain, you'll win $140 on a $100 bet.

According to Internet reports, betting on the 2008 White House race is up considerably up over the 2004 Prez election and according to the same reports, that election was the most wagered non-sports event in history. I'm not sure the last fact can be supported since Presidential betting used to be a big deal in the 1800s and into the 20th century, but it shows that you can actually vote with your wallet.

Most of the other political wagering like party V.P. picks is closed, but the odds are still up for the GOP could-be vice-prez candidates. Bodog has former GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney at 5/2 as the clear favorite and Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty is next at 3/1. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and Florida Governor Charlie Crist tied for bronze at 7/1.

Just like when I hit the tracks, I always put some money down on the long shot just in case it's their day. If I wanted to do that here, I could drop some change on Florida Senator Mel Martinez at 75/1 or on man-about-globe Colin Powell at 70/1. I'm surprised Hillary Clinton isn't at least up on the boards at 1000/1 or something long shot for a GOP V.P. spot.

Stranger things have happened.

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I always thought Vegas would be a great host city for the Summer Olympics.

Well, if everyone could get past the 120-degree August heat. There isn't as much pollution as Beijing and where some cities have trouble building out their Olympic facilities, Vegas already has some world-class facilities and whatever is lacking, could be built in a matter of weeks.

I guess it's a long shot that Vegas could ever host the Summer Olympics, but that doesn't mean that future games couldn't benefit from the addition of a few Vegas "sports." I'm not talking about horse racing or even poker, for those that consider playing cards a sport.

These sports are at the very core of a memorable Vegas experience and would definitely add some sex appeal (beyond beach volleyball) and bring excitement back to the games. I mean, seriously, if someone can win an Olympic gold medal in trampoline, these Vegas sports are definitely medal worthy:

Stripper Biathlon: I'm sure I read on Wikipedia somewhere that the original Olympic games in ancient Greece had something similar to the Stripper Biathlon, but maybe that was the Heraea Games.

In the modern Stripper Biathlon, instead of long-distance running and shooting guns, athletes have pole and lap with all events being performed in six-inch acrylic high heels.

In the pole portion of the event, competitors must perform a 4:13 routine to Prince's "Darling Nikki." Contestants will be judge on creativity, stamina and full use of the pole.

The lap portion is almost marathonic similar to the cross country running portion of the officially sanctioned biathlon. Contestants can choose music of their liking to perform a 2:30 lap dance for each judge. With 10 judges, that's more than 20 minutes of lap dancing. Unless of course the judges have some extra twenty-dollar bills, in which case, the contestants can stay longer dancing for each judge.

Where to Find Stripper Biathlon in Vegas: Scores, Sapphire, Spearmint Rhino, Olympic Garden

Synchronized Dance Floor: How many times have you walked into a Vegas club and seen two attractive girls on the dance floor doing the exact same dance in almost the exact same revealing outfit? That's the wonderful sport of Synchronized Dance Floor. Contestants are judged on attractiveness, costumes, dance moves, synchronization and ability to hold liquor.

There are three rounds of the competition with a shot of Patron before during and after each round. That third round is where many an Olympic dream ends in unconsciousness, nausea-related activity or calling ex-boyfriends.

Where to Find Synchronized Dance Floor in Vegas: The Bank, Tabu, TAO, Moon/Playboy Club, VooDoo

Acrobatic Gymnastics: I think this sport has the best shot of making it. With all of the Cirque du Soleil shows in Vegas, some of the world's best gymnasts are performing live in Vegas almost every night. Women's Gymnasitcs are always one of the biggest television draws at any Summer Olympic games. This year, millions of Americans will tune in to see Alicia Sacramone, Chellsie Memmel, Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson bring gymnastics gold back to the United States. While I respect their athleticism and commitment to the support, I think some of the Cirque du Soleil performances are much more difficult and plus you get much cooler music like The Beatles in Love instead of some of the stuff they play on the floor exercises.

Where to Find Acrobatic Gymnastics in Vegas: O, Ka, Love, Le Reve | Get Tickets

Competitive Eating: Nathan's on Coney Island gets all the eating buzz every summer with the hot dog eating competition, but with all of the buffets in Vegas, there is no reason Sin City shouldn't be the center of the competitive eating world. And this is one sport, I wouldn't mind training for.

Where to Find Competitive Eating in Vegas: City's Best Buffets

UFC: So the sport should really be called mixed-martial arts (MMA), but UFC is the first name in MMA and has some interesting elements like the Octagon. Almost all of the historic UFC battles have been waged on Vegas soil, er, sand. After all, UFC is headquartered here, but it has become an international phenomenon.

The official Summer Olympics has judo, taekwondo and wrestling, but nothing that combines them all together in a fenced Octagon. Again, not to discount any of the hard work the Olympians put into their training, but I'd put my money on Chuck Liddell over any of the gold medalists from those three official Olympic events. In fact, I think The Iceman might be able to take all three of them at once.

Plus the bonus of having UFC in the summer Olympics: Octagon Girls.

These are just of the of the Vegas games that, if added, would actually make the Olympics fun to watch again. And really, they don't have to even be summer games. These Vegas activities are just as great in winter.

If it's too late for them to be in rotation for London 2012, maybe they'll make the cut for Rio 2016 or who knows, Vegas 2024?

It's a good day when you get press releases like the one below. It's a good day because that means Bonnie Tyler is coming to Vegas. Tickets go on sale Friday for her show at The Cannery on Sept. 26.

The press release refers to one of the finest songs ever created as "some of Tyler's other hits include 'Total Eclipse of the Heart.'" Sure 'Footloose' was a phenomenal movie and 'It's a Heartache' sold a flajillion copies, but 'Total Eclipse' was the energy, the very force -- stronger than gravity -- driving hormonal hordes of kids around roller rinks during a "couples' skate."

Well, unless you were the socially awkward one like me. While these kids on dates on skates were holding hands and falling in and out of like, I was showing Ms. Pac-Man a thing or two during these couples' skates that were nothing more than endurance trials of balance and controlling hand sweat. When "Total Eclipse" came on, the only thing that softened the sting of my lonely, lonely tears was setting the high score on Ms. Pac-Man.

Oh Ms. Pac-Man ... this is dedicated to you (and Stephanie Page from the 10th Grade):

I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks
I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
There's nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart

It's about time is really all I have to say.

Donny and Marie Osmond are starting an extended Vegas residency at The Flamingo starting Sept. 9. The two have been all over the TV lately in one form or another and frankly, people would rather see the duo sing rather than push weigh-loss products and host shows. It's their first residency on The Strip in 29 years.

Vegas is the perfect setting and the only global-appeal act I think that could trump them is ABBA, but with the musicals, movies and millions of records being sold, 'Mamma Mia' at Mandalay Bay is as close as they are getting to the desert anytime soon.

Donny and Marie is something the whole family, and even the whole world can get into.

Flamingo is offering a couple of themed packages to stay and see D&M: Donny's "A Little Bit Rock 'n' Roll Package" and Marie's "A Little Bit Country Package." Both packages feature two nights deluxe accommodations and two show tickets. Donny's features a 50th anniversary book and a Donny dog tag necklace and Marie's features a 50th anniversary doll and a butterfly charm. Packages are limited so order today.

This is one of the best times of the year in any city in any country on any planet -- the beginning of Vegas Pool Season. It's that special time of the year when Sin City sheds a few more inhibitions and the flesh is celebrated, and in the case of some of the topless pools, in all its sculpted, golden glory.

Over the last couple of seasons, the buzz was about nightclub groups managing pools (Pure-Venus, TAO-TAO Beach, Light-Bare) and "European style sunbathing" (READ: topless). I guess the Euro to dollar exchange rate finally took it's toll and people are now either saying the word "topless" or "luxurious" instead of the syllable-laden "European style sunbathing."

This year the buzz is all about bigger is better. The parties are bigger and even the first 'ultra pool" has been dug.

Here is the annual preview of this season's hottest, chlorinated spots in Vegas:

Bare (Video Preview) at the Mirage went from soft launch to grand opening with a party that included a set from DJ Donald Glaude. "Lose the Tan Lines" is the message from Light Group, the nightlife empire who is responsible for all this topless-turvy. While ladies in other cities have to go bake under the lamps for an April glow, Vegas ladies can go au naturelle when soaking in the au naturelle rays of the sun.

Another nightlife empire, Pure Management Group, brings you another "luxurious" season of Venus Pool Club (Video Preview) at Caesars. I don't know if it's the whole Roman, opulence theme at the resort, but Venus has always felt a little more refined. It has the same elements -- DJ, pampering, poolside cocktails -- as other parties, but it's not so "party 'til you puke' here. It's worth noting that hotel guests get in free, except Saturdays.

The world-famous Rehab (Video Preview) party at the Hard Rock is also on Sundays. It's very much a "gone wild" atmosphere and that's why I and everyone (except maybe N.O.W., A.A. and Greenpeace) loves it.

Since most thongs don't have calculator holsters, it's worth noting the pricing scheme can be confusing and it looks like that's back. There are different prices for gender and geography, but a certain number of hotel guests can get in free.

It's also worth noting, camera crews will be roaming the silicone sand this year filming for "Rehab: The Movie" so make sure you don't pick your nose, butt or do anything else you don't want showing up before god and creation.


If you can't afford your boss, spouse, mother, deity, etc. to see you on late-night reality TV, then TAO Beach (Video Preview) may be a Sunday option for you. It's a pretty place for pretty people and you can experience all of the aesthetics at their Sunday's Sunset Sessions.

The Sunset Session always confused me because they run from 10AM to 5PM -- after sunrise and before sunset. But by the time I get there and start cocktailing, my apprehensions about the correct position of the sun in the day sky disappears like the olive in my very dirty martini.


Mandalay Bay has always, in my mind, been really good at this whole summer fun thing. They were topless before topless was cool with Moorea. Now it's all known as Mandalay Beach (Video Preview) and while most other casinos have poolside and swim-up gambling, Mandalay Bay built an entire three-story beach casino.

This year could go down as the year of the "ultra pool." Wet Republic at MGM Grand is the first Vegas pool labeled as such. Whether it's a marketing tag or the standard for all future ultra pools (like Tabu was for ultra lounges) remains to be seen.

What we do know is that it's over 50,000 square feet of "daylife" -- like nightlife but during the day. There are eight pools, six V.I.P. bungalows, a lot of space for concerts and even a 2,500 square feet open-air ultra lounge.

Other Pool Parties to Check Out
- Ditch Fridays (pictured) at Palms is always solid
- The kickoff at Red Rock this year features Kanye West
- Go Pool at the Flamingo
- The Tank at the Golden Nugget

This year I decided that I wouldn't predict the winner of Miss America pageant in the days leading up to the pageant because last year, well, I failed.

Last year, I thought for sure Miss Texas was going to win, but in hindsight that decision was based on my Texan pride. When Miss Oklahoma Laura Nelson won one of the prelim lifestyle and fitness (swimsuit) awards, her photo was compelling enough and I was pretty sure she was going to win, but I went with the Lone Star beauty, Shilah Phillips.

When I saw Miss Michigan's stunning swimsuit photo from her lifestyle and fitness preliminary win on the second night of competition, I had the same feeling.

Hindsight is always 20/20, right? In fact, Miss Michigan Kirsten Haglund (pictured) took the tiara and won the Miss America 2008 title at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino in Las Vegas and broadcast on TLC. Swimsuit photos aside, the pageant is about more than a pretty face and she seems like good people as well. The 19-year-old fromFarmington Hills, Michigan hopes to pursue a career on Broadway. If her talent performance of "Over the Rainbow" is any indication, she belongs on Broadway.

The runner-ups (in order from fourth to first) were Miss North Carolina Jessica Marie Jacobs, Miss Virginia Hannah Martine Keifer, Miss Washington Elyse Umemoto and Miss Indiana Nicole Elizabeth Rash.

Rounding out the "Top 16" were Miss Tennessee Grace Gore, Miss California Melissa Chaty, Miss South Carolina Crystal Alicia Garrett, Miss Georgia Leah Massee, Miss Arkansas Katie Bailey, Miss Wisconsin Christina Anna Thompson, Miss Florida Kylie Jean Williams, Miss Mississippi Kimberly Nicole Morgan, twirler Miss Iowa Diana Reed and Miss Utah Jill Stevens. Miss Utah made it the semi-finalists round based on online votes. She's also an ARMY Sergeant.

The judges seemed more random this year (one described as Justin Timberlake's childhood friend and one was an editor from OK Magazine) and I think they picked the right winner, but I think Miss Wisconsin Christina Anna Thompson was overlooked. If the slates were wiped clean at the beginning of the semi-final round, I'm unsure how Miss Washington made it as a runner-up. Her singing wouldn't have even qualified her for the "American Idol" reject show and Miss Wisconsin rocked in her red outfits. But that's why Miss America hasn't called me to judge yet.

I'm sorry Miss Washington, I'm just being picky. It's me, not you. In any case, congratulations to all the ladies.

I'm writing the media commentary now, in the meantime, check out my friend Robin Leach's story and photos from the pageant. Always worth the read.

More Miss America on Vegas Pop:
- Kirsten Haglund Photos
- Preliminary Winners Photos

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It's not like you need another reason to come to Vegas. With the endless supply of conventions, new nightlife and changing Vegas Stripscape, there are plenty of excuses to hop a plane to the desert.

If you do need a little extra temptation, the next few weeks here may be just the right motivation to motor west.

With The Comedy Festival and the Vegoose Music Festival just around the corner, it's Vegas' unofficial festival season. Two festivals do not a season make, but I did label the season as unofficial.

Maybe a couple promoters will jump in with new festivals next year. I recommend a sand festival and a magic festival.

In the meantime, check out these too legit to quit fests:

The Comedy Festival
HBO's annual festival of laughs seems to get bigger and bigger. This year, Jerry Seinfeld is one of the top draws and in the world of stand up comedy, Jerry is as about as big as it gets. Although I realize Dane Cook, who's 'Tourgasm' stopped by the festival last year, and his fans may disagree.

Where to Stay:
Since the festival is based at Caesars Palace, if your expense account can absorb the costs, you should stay there. There's nothing like stumbling back to your room after a few cocktails with Dave Attell rather than having to que up in a long taxi line.

The Flamingo is one or two pedestrian bridges away and is a nice cost-effective alternative just across The Strip. If you must have luxury and Caesars is fully booked, try Bellagio across the street or grab a suite at The Venetian.

Who to See:
In addition to the aforementioned Mr. Seinfeld, I'm really excited to see Chelsea Handler, seen here with my pal Robin Leach. She's easily the fourth hottest woman on television behind Martha Stewart, Nigella Lawson and Sarah Alexander, but she's definitely the funniest. Chelsea was in the girl 'Candid Camera' style show known as 'Girls Behaving Badly.' She also had a brief stint as a guest host on 'The View' and now has her own show called 'Chelsea Handler Lately.'

Speaking of 'The View,' Joy Behar will be performing a show with 'SNL' alum, Kevin Nealon. Football fans will want to see Frank Caliendo as he takes his Rich Little schtick from 'Mad TV' to the 'Fox NFL Pregame Show' to his own show, 'Frank TV.'

Wanda Sykes, Eddie Izzard and Ellen DeGeneres are some of the other big names topping off the schedule.

Where to Eat, Drink and Be Merry:
Usually there are private, festival-related parties at some of the venues at Caesars Palace like PURE nightclub and The Pussycat Dolls Lounge. You can go for the gourmet gusto with expensive Vegas meal at Guy Savoy's or try something more reasonable at Bradley Ogden's or Wolfgang Puck's Spago.

After PURE, most of the big names will be hitting new spots like LAX down south on The Strip at Luxor or TAO up north at The Venetian.

Vegoose Music Festival

If you're more into chaotic outdoor music concerts than civilized indoor comedy shows, you'll want to come to Vegoose. It's the punny, annual two-day music affair to remember usually occurring on the weekend before Halloween.

This year, the festival seems to have a political bent. I'm not sure if it's because we're on the cusp of what should be a long, greedy, tortuous election cycle, but Rage Against the Machine, Public Enemy and Muse (pictured with political message backdrop) fit in nicely with the mindless, yet tasty, hum of Daft Punk and The Shins.

Where to Stay:
Sam Boyd Stadium is off of the Boulder Highway so it would be a trek from any of The Strip hotels. I'm not saying you shouldn't stay at a Strip hotel, I'm just saying it's a bit far. If you want to stay at a casino hotel closer to the stadium, try Green Valley Ranch or Sunset Station.

The Vegoose site knows their audience and recommends some campgrounds in the area. The closest are the campgrounds at Sam's Town, but be warned, it's not a short hike to the stadium.

If you want to get away from it all, but you don't want to trade a suite for a tent, explore the offerings at scenic Lake Las Vegas.



Who to See:
Muse on day two is a must-see. I had the privilege of seeing them at their show at The Joint last year and to see a band that intense at a smaller venue (they're accustomed to selling out Wembley on multiple nights) was amazing. They have all the political fervor of Rage Against the Machine packaged in a UK pretty boy box along the lines of Keane, Radiohead and Travis. Incidentally, Rage Against the Machine is headlining on day two.

If day two is all about the politics with Muse and Rage Against the Machine, then day one is all about fun with headliners Daft Punk and Iggy & the Stooges. The Shins, Blonde Redhead and Queens of the Stone Age should be part of your alterna-itenerary for day one.

For the granola crowd who appreciate the fact that the Grateful Dead played at this stadium 14 times during the '90s, you'll want to put down your tobacco accessories and jam with moe., Michael Franti and Spearhead and Infected Mushroom on day two.

Hip-hop and rap fans can rejoice for Public Enemy, Ghostface Killah, Cypress Hill and M.I.A.

Where to Eat, Drink and Be Merry:
If you're looking for the celeb hangouts in this neck of the woods, you'll have to head to Green Valley Ranch. There are some swanky eats and drinks, but most of the places here are for locals. If you're looking for some good wings and things, Sunset Station does have a Hooters.

I recommend heading up 515 until you hit Downtown Vegas and hit some of the hipster spots on Fremont East like Beauty Bar, The Griffin and Downtown Cocktail Room.

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A three-day Vegas vacation is about all a human can handle, emotionally and physically. Even if you're not partaking of the delightful fruits of Sin City (boozing, dancing and buffet gorging), sightseeing and shopping can also take a toll on human endurance.

For those folks that don't even have three days, I recommend the one-day Vegas Super-Massive Party plan. It's grueling, but for the attention deficit crowd, it's a great way to experience the best of Vegas in less than 24 hours.

Vegas Super-Massive Party Plan
First of all, I'm not a licensed medical professional, but you'll want to get plenty of rest the night before and hydrate the whole way through. The plan has ample time for relaxation, but remember, moderation is your friend.

You'll want to start with a midday flight to Vegas arriving around noon and a return flight leaving around 7-8AM so you can arrive at the airport around 6AM. Pack light if even at all and grab toiletries as needed.

And as a savings benefit, if you don't need a hotel room, you don't have to get one. The plan calls for a place to shower, but if you think you need a disco nap, a place to call home or your plans derail, you should get a room.

Before you leave your house, arrange for a car service to pick you up at the airport or you could spend a precious hour, literally, at the cab stand and time is of the essence.



Noon -2PM
Mandalay Bay
If you didn't fill up on airline nuts and complimentary beverages, you're going to want to eat. Mandalay Bay is the closest, biggest resort to the airport so start there for lunch and work your way up The Strip.

Grab lunch at the Burger Bar for a nice slab of beef. You can try the $75 burger, but one of the $15 burgers will do just fine. When you're done eating, contemplate the meaning of life at the tranquil environs of the Shark Reef. Practice positive reinforcement and picture yourself as the shark, gliding through the day ahead.

2-4PM
Bellagio Poker Room
Now that you're fed, head over to the Bellagio and grab a chair for a couple of hours at one of Vegas' best poker rooms. They have poker action for almost every budget and it's a pretty mellow way to spend a couple of hours.

If your bankroll is big enough, head to Bellagio's high-roller salon, Club Prive (pictured) and enjoy some responsible gaming and pampering with the elite crowd.

4-7PMish
Caesars Palace
Crossing Flamingo , head to Caesars Palace. You'll want to hit the Forum Shops and grab some fancy duds for going out later. While there, stop by Casa Fuente for a cigar break and a mojito. Follow that up with a massage and shower (very important) at Qua spa. You're now relaxed, clean dressed and ready for the night.

7:30-9PM
Mirage
Head a little north of The Strip and catch 'The Beatles Love' by Cirque du Soleil. Maybe you've just watched 'Across the Universe' in theaters or maybe you're just a Beatles or Cirque du Soleil fan. Whatever the case, it's a must-not-miss show whether you are spending one night or one week in Vegas.

As a post-show option, stop by and check out the tech-heavy psychdelic-inspired The Beatles Revolution Ultra Lounge on your way out. The '60s meet the future with fancy lights and interactive, customer-created art being projected onto the walls.

9:30-11PM
Wynn
Time to eat again and luckily Vegas has plenty of options. Heading a little further up The Strip, stop at The Wynn for a fancy dinner at Alex. On the walk over, from The Mirage, be sure to catch the sexy 'Sirens of TI' free show in front of Treasure Island.

11PM-1AM
Downtown Vegas
Take a cab for a detour off The Strip to Downtown and the newly christened Fremont East Entertainment District. Downtown nightlife is booming and you can initiate your own hipster pub crawl by stopping at the Downtown Cocktail Room, Beauty Bar and The Griffin. Warning, these are not big dance clubs, but don't worry, one is up next on the itinerary.

1AM-3AM
The Venetian
Time to start heading back toward the airport and the first stop is a nightcap at TAO Las Vegas. You'll want to try and skip the line at all costs since time is precious, but once inside, you can rub elbows with celebrities and get an aerobic dance workout to get your second wind.

3AM
Vince Neil Ink Tattoo Parlour
Continuing the trek toward the airport, go to O'Shea's and permanently mark the occasion with a tattoo at Vince Neil Ink. As the front man for Motley Crue, he knows a little something about tattoos. If you have been drinking a lot, you'll want to skip the step and hit the slot machines or visit the Peppermill Fireside Lounge. Tattoos and drinking, contrary to movies and television, don't mix.

4AM
Hard Rock Hotel
It's almost time for breakfast and the Hard Rock usually has an attractive crowd, even this early in the morning (or late at night as the case may be). Mr. Lucky's 24/7 is a 24-hour cafe where you can grab something to eat and much-needed coffee before heading to the airport.

6AM
McCarran International Airport
If any of the souvenir shops are open that early, you might want to buy a T-shirt so you have something fresh to wear for the plane ride home. The slots are up and running so if your flight is delayed, you'll have something to occupy your time before you get on the plane and sleep.

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The O.J. Simpson "Great Vegas Robbery" is a big, hot alleged mess, isn't it?

Orenthal was held as a flight risk for a few days and then posted a $125,000 bail and flight risked back to Florida. A jailed friend of a local nightlife fixture who was in the same holding cell as Orenthal is saying that he admitted to killing his wife and gave a speech about double jeopardy. Orenthal is alleging that former LAPD detective Mark Fuhrman hatched this robbery conspiracy at retribution.

Now, O.J.'s main accuser and alleged sports memorabilia dealer, Alfred Beardsley, has been outed as a convicted felon and arrested in Vegas for a parole violation.

And to think with the memorabilia, all of this is just for a few bucks and a better feedback rating on eBay.

If He Stole It
If the legal proceedings back in 1994 weren't strange enough, each day that passes in Orenthal's current legal saga gets weirder and weirder. As the facts in the case start to surface, I'm expecting Orenthal to once again be acquitted, but this time it won't be the trial of the century or even decade.

I'm also expecting 'The Onion' or some other respected publication to publish a full, word-by-word parody version of 'If I Did It: Confessions of a Killer' as 'If I Stole It: Confessions of a Sad, Sad Man.'

Conspiracy Theory
TMZ has an audio excerpt that allegedly features Orenthal allegedly going "commando" in an alleged Vegas hotel room, but it's hard for me to tell from just audio if Orenthal is wearing underwear or not. Heck, I can't even tell if the voice is actually Orenthal or someone pretending to be Orenthal. It sounds like a South Park version of Orenthal, but I'm not a forensics expert.

Vegas does have a lot of professional impersonators and honestly, with the poor recording quality and bleeping, it sounds like it could have been anybody.

If there isn't a conspiracy, why does a recording exist anyway? Vegas casinos have a lot of video surveillance, but they haven't started bugging the rooms, yet. Oh Mark Fuhrnam, is your alleged 14-year-old grudge finally being satisfied?

The Other Glove Drops
I expect to Orenthal to be acquitted, not based on the facts of the case, but since exiting football and the demise of the 'Naked Gun' movies, acquital is the only thing Orenthal has been really good at.

For these legal proceedings, Orenthal will have to make a go without the masterful defense strategy and rhymes of the late Johnnie Cochran. The only way that the part showman, part lawyer will be able to aid Orenthal is if Carlos Mencia lends the services of "The Ghost of Johnnie Cochran."

Vegas Alibi Kit
The good news for Orenthal is that the marketing wizards behind the "What Happens in Vegas" campaign developed a Vegas Alibi Kit. If you were naughty in Vegas, you can use the Vegas Alibi Generator 2.0 to create a clean alibi to take home to friends, family and colleagues. There is also a photo faker tool to back up the story. Orenthal can take his Vegas mug shot to superimpose on the available photos.

It's easy, the generator asks you a series of multiple choice questions based on likes and dislikes and then spits out an alibi. One of the examples they use on the site is "I had to unbutton my pants." That is cleaned up to be a dining reference.



Inspired by 'If I did It,' I pretended to be Orenthal and answered the following questions from the Vegas Alibi Generator 2.0. Some of the questions and answer choices were eerie:
1. Before heading to Vegas, I take inventory of my closet.
2. Custom-fit clubs really gets my juices flowing.
3. If given the choice, I'd watch The Home Shopping Network.
4. People tell me that I remind them of Cher.
5. Among friends, I am known for my swing.
6. Second helpings give me the goosebumps.
7. I've been saving up for something leather.
8. When I was a child, I had a tendency to swing sticks at balls.
9. I have this recurring nightmare where the bouncer won't let me in.

The alibi that the machine spat out was "All I did was shop." It doesn't say anything about five-finger discounts, but to back up the story, the Vegas Alibi Generator 2.0 gives the following instruction, also eerie:

Now if anyone asks:

• What's with all these credit card charges?
• Why are you wearing new pants?
• Why are your shoulders so sore?

Your story goes like this:

After buying a few things at Grand Canal Shoppes you were so tired you stopped to eat at Garden Buffet. The next day, you hit Las Vegas Outlet Center and Dillard's and topped the day with Chidos w/ Emery, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, The Devil Wears Prada.

Remember! Keep your shopping bags, receipts, and tags 'cause nothing backs up an alibi like evidence.

Yes indeed, nothing backs up an alibi like evidence.

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Vegas is a great town for coupling. There is something about all of that neon, slot machine noise and being on holiday that make people want to pair up.

There is the legal coupling known as the Las Vegas wedding, which adds weight to the Vegas nickname, "The Marriage Capital of the World," and then there is the unplanned coupling based on random acts of nightlife that bolsters another Vegas nickname, "Sin City."

Vegas is also a great town for celebrities so it is only natural that the two concepts will intersect in the world of celebrity couples. Phyllis McGuire and Sam Giancana were probably the greatest Vegas celebrity couple love story of all time. based on Vegas lore and romanticized treatments like the movie 'Sugartime.'

Beyond the celebs who fly in for quickie Vegas weddings, here are the five current best Vegas celebrity couples:

Britney Spears and Criss Angel

This fresh Vegas celebrity couple should be made the unofficial first couple of Vegas for as long as they're together.

Britney has done more for the Vegas economy over the last few years with her appearances and Criss films his A&E 'Mindfreak' show in Vegas and will star in a Cirque du Soleil Show at the Luxor.

More importantly, they are veterans on the Vegas celebrity coupling circuit. Britney was married and annulled here and she and her second husband were constant companions of the Vegasarazzi. Criss had a Vegas fling with Paris Hilton.

I'm reading they may have already broken up, but I'm staying positive and hope these two crazy kids find a way to make it work.

If they do end up at the Little White Wedding Chapel, they need to be careful who they invite to the wedding.

Siegfried and Roy
While this Vegas power couple's romantic relationship has long since moved to a professional partnership, there is still an undeniable spiritual, magical connection between Siegfried and Roy.

If it weren't for Roy's tragic accident back in 2003, the dynamic duo would still be fixtures on the Strip with their lifetime contract at The Mirage. Well technically, with their statue right on The Strip, they are still a fixture, but only in bronze.

They started performing in Vegas in 1972 and have performed more than 5,000 shows. Roy's rehabilitation gives hope that one day they'll be back on a Vegas stage, but in the meantime they are staying active in the community. My pal Robin Leach has some great photos of Siegfried and Roy tapping the keg at the annual Hofbrauhaus Oktoberfest in Vegas.

Pamela Anderson and Hans Klok
As far as I know, this relationship has not blossomed into a work-based romantic relationship, but the popularity of their 'Beauty of Magic' show at Planet Hollywood qualifies Pamela Anderson and Hans Klok as a couple.

Pamela has constantly been in the Vegas headlines ever since she announced she was buying a luxury pad at the Panorama Towers on The Strip last year. Unfortunately, her ex-husbands Tommy Lee and Kid Rock have also been making headlines. It seems that every time they are in Vegas at the same time, there are rumors of one threatening the other like last New Year's Eve when one showed up at the other's suite to allegedly settle a score. Of course the bravado and threats culminated in the VMA fist fight.

Known as the "World's Fastest Magician," Hans' headlines have only been for his feats on the stage. The only ex situation he had is when Carmen Electra backed out of his first planned Vegas show, but Pamela seems to be a better fit.

Maybe if this couple lasts long enough, they'll also be enshrined in bronze on The Strip.

Pink and Carey Hart
Pink is originally from Pennsylvania, but her extreme sports hubby Carey Hart grew up in Vegas and Vegas is where their relationship started to bloom a few months after meeting at the 2001 X Games.

With their jobs, they obviously travel a lot, but have residences in Vegas and L.A. Carey also has a business in Vegas. The reality show 'Inked' was filmed at Carey's Hart & Huntington tattoo shop at the the Palms.

Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz
Jenna Jameson was born in Vegas and Tito Ortiz has made a name for himself slugging it out in the UFC Octagon in Vegas and abroad. When I interviewed the couple at the AVN Awards earlier this year. They seemed extremely happy, but the situation was a little tense, because just off-screen of this photo is Jenna's ex-husband Jay Grdina doing an interview.

Jenna has been picked apart in the tab rags all year and Tito gets a lot of grief for being the "Huntington Beach Bad Boy" and his swagger in the Octagon, but the way I see it, if you can make each other smile the way they do, that's what life is all about.

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Facing multiple felony charges, O.J. Simpson is being held without bail in a Vegas jail as a risk flight. My pal Robin Leach has been following the story more closely with the bail, the mug shots, the arrest and the hours leading up to the arrest, but I can't help but think what happens if this goes to trial?

As Robin points out, O.J.'s plea should be coming up soon and the way we do it in Vegas is via closed-circuit television from the detention center. So O.J. shouldn't actually physically be in court, but on a TV in court -- a different form of Court TV.

Should the allegations lead to a trial, the bad news for O.J. is the late, great Johnnie Cochran is no longer around to mastermind his defense to these charges.

The good news for O.J. is that as part of the wizardry that is the "What Happens in Vegas" campaign, there is a Vegas Alibi Kit he might be able to utilize. I don't think it was built for these kinds of alibis, but the kit might be worth checking out.

If that doesn't work, maybe Carlos Mencia's "The Ghost of Johnnie Cochran" can help. However, since TMZ has audio of the O.J. confrontation with "The Juice" as the alleged ring leader, it may take more than the 'Mind of Mencia' to stop the squeeze. Watch more tonight on TMZ TV.

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Almost everything blogged and over-blogged about the VMAs has been obvious and mass market. I mean really, how many bloggers does it take to screw in a lightbulb, or someone's career? There's the stuff that happens on the stage during the broadcast and at the clubs where people wave their camera phones at celebrities like lighters at an '80s arena rock concert.

What you don't always see is the behind-the-scenes action at the hospitality suites where stars are pampered and gifted and able to hang out without worrying if their muffin tops have been properly oiled and set properly with the flab to denim ratio.

At the TAO Vegas hospitality suites at the Venetian, stars like Ashanti (pictured above) were able to load up on celeb perks like swag and goodies from Express, Disney Couture, Kenneth Cole Fragrance, Luxotica Eyewear, Treesje handbags, Oceanaut watches, Keratase, WOW Creations and Luxury Air Jets.

If celebs got tired of the free shopping and the pampering they could head over to the Xbox Oasis at TAO Beach like Kanye (pictured). There's a great picture you have to click below of Eve, Bobby Lee and Lil Jon playing Xbox which leads me to think, those three could start the next big movie franchise -- Bobby Lee and Lil Jon buddy cop movies set in Vegas with Eve as the sexy, demanding boss. I digress.

Not all the stars want the treatment, though. Most celebs were hanging out and having a good time like Pharrell (pictured), but singer Robin Thicke refused swag gifts by saying, "Please give it to someone that needs it." Some people are so heavy.

Other celebs stopping by the tent include, but not limited to, Nelly, Yung Joc, Janet Jackson, Jermaine Dupri, Ludacris, Diddy, Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry, Kevin Connelly, Jacob the Jeweler, Ciara and the cast of 'The Hills.' Linkin Park also performed over the weekend for the release of 'Halo 3.'

For more views from inside the tent, click on the photos below:


All Photos by Jacob Andrzejczak of imagesofvegas.com

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